Ask Ted Nugent: The Nuge Weighs In on Hunting, Gibson Byrdlands, Absolutism and Ballsiness

Ted Nugent: 

Introducing a new blog, "Ask Ted Nugent"In this first
installment, Ted discusses hunting, why he's not in
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and his beloved Gibson
Byrdlands.

On the importance of hunting in his life: My hunting lifestyle is the ultimate soul cleanser and "re-creator" of my spirit and energy. Venison is the rocket fuel for the healthiest life, and the hunting procedure is the last perfect environmental and spirit positive function available to mankind. I like to think of my life as downright perfect. It's thrilling living such a full, gratifying life so I live it to the max every day. 

On his Gibson Byrdlands: The mighty Gibson Byrdland guitar is a magical piece of American craftsman artwork that has a musical voice all its own. A beast of an instrument that was created to provide a limitless pallet for creative sonic bombast and musical adventure that called my name from the very 1st time I witnessed its power in the hands of Jimmy McCarty of Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels way back around 1961. This custom guitar is capable of more sounds than a normal human being is capable of dreaming of. But since I am not a normal human being, our love affair continues to produce soul cleansing and crotch inspiring sounds and love songs for the masses. 

On why the music industry so liberal: Why do you think they call it dope? If they aren't currently stoned, they live in a cloud of denial due to their self imposed insulation from discomforting reality. Pathetic, really. 

On why he's not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: I am unable to back off critical issues and play braindead politically correct games so that fools can continue their embarrassing denial of historical and current truth and evidence. Real music lovers increase their love for my music as my absolutism and ballsiness increases. 

On why being grounded is so important: I was raised to discipline myself to be the absolute best that I can be every day of my life in everything that I do. I am surrounded by the greatest, hardest-working team in the world. My amazing family, band, crew, management, production team, everybody in the Nugent camp are ass-kicking animals of the highest order.

On his most immediate influences: Chuck Berry, Bo Diddly, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, the godfathers of American R&B&R&R outrage. These guys knew they were making unprecedented, outrageous music that scared the living hell out of status quo sheep, and instead of obeying when told to tame it, they instead got more intense and more outrageous. 

On the two free songs available on his website:

I Still Believe: I still believe in Americans with positive spirit, Herculean work ethic and a drive to be the very best that we can be. In spite of the suicidal path of the soulless Obama destructo derby, I still believe there are more Americans who love America than hate her.

I Love My BBQ: I have hunting and fishing buddies everywhere with fresh pure protein on hand at all times! Life is a BBQ and I love/crave every killin' and grillin' minute of it!

On why he pisses off so many people: In a world gone soft, a person like me who is virtually fearless to speak my mind appears over the top to soulless sheep. I am in charge of my life and it causes losers much anguish. That's just a bonus to being the best that I can be.

Ted Nugent is ... Ted Nugent! Check out his website for more information.

Green Day singer: Sagging pants cost me my plane seat

Billie Joe Armstrong tweets that Southwest kicked him off of a flight 

Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong says
he got booted from a flight over his saggy pants.

OAKLAND, Calif. — Green Day front man Billie Joe Armstrong says his sagging pants cost him a seat on a Southwest Airlines flight.

The singer-guitarist for the San Francisco Bay area band sent a message to his Twitter followers on Thursday expressing his indignation at being tossed from an Oakland-to-Burbank flight for wearing his trousers too low. 

"Just got kicked off a southwest flight because my pants sagged too low! What the f---? No joke!" he tweeted.

An ABC7 news producer who was on the same flight told the station that a flight attendant approached Armstrong as the plane was getting ready to take off and asked him to hike his pants higher.

The producer, Cindy Qiu, says Armstrong initially responded by asking the attendant if there weren't "better things to do than worry about that?" 

But the attendant persisted and told Armstrong he could be ejected for his refusal to comply. When Armstrong insisted he was just trying to get to his seat, he and a traveling companion were taken off the plane. 

Southwest spokesman Brad Hawkins released a statement saying Armstrong was allowed onto the next flight to Burbank and had told a customer relations agent who contacted him he had no further complaints. 

"As soon as we became aware of what had happened, we reached out to apologize for this Customer's experience," the statement read. "He elected to take the next flight. We followed up with this Customer and involved Employees to get more details and, in our latest conversations, understand from the Customer the situation was resolved to his satisfaction." 

A University of New Mexico football player was arrested at San Francisco International Airport in June when he allegedly refused a U.S. Airways attendant request for him to pull up his low-riding pants and, later, the captain's order to leave the plane. 

The player, Deshon Marman, was held on suspicion of trespassing, battery of a police officer and obstruction of a police investigation when he allegedly resisted the officer who escorted him from the plane. But the San Mateo County district attorney refused to bring charges. 

The incident sparked allegations of racial profiling after a photo surfaced of a man who flew aboard a US Airways flight wearing skimpy women's panties and mid-thigh stockings days before Marman's arrest. That man was white. Marman is African-American.

 

Jani Lane of Warrant dies at the age of 47.

Longtime Rocker and a friend JANI LANE, former lead singer of Warrant, has died at age 47. Lane's body was found yesterday at a Comfort Inn hotel in Woodland Hills, California. His death is being treated as an accidental overdose or a possible death from natural causes.

Reportedly, investigators found a half-empty bottle of vodka and prescription medication in his hotel room. An autopsy is scheduled for later today.

During his time with Warrant Lane wrote such hits as 'Down Boys, Cherry Pie, and Heaven, which reached number one in Rolling Stone and number two on the Billboard Top 100.

Lane had an on-off relationship with the band, leaving in 1992 before returning and quitting again several times. He left for the last time in 2008, citing writing differences.

In a statement, the band said of his departure: 'It is with the deepest regret that we have to announce that Jani Lane will no longer be performing with Warrant. We wish Jani nothing but the best and remain friends.'

Lane continued to write and sing after he left Warrant. His debut solo album Back Down to One was released in 2003.

Celebrity tributes have poured in via Twitter: Former Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash tweeted: 'Just heard about Jani Lane.

What a shame. RIP man.' Poison frontman Bret Michaels wrote: 'We'd like to offer our deepest condolences to the family of Jani Lane regarding their loss.

Respectfully, Bret and all at MEGI.' Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx tweeted: 'I just heard the sad news about Janie Lane. So hard to swallow when people have kids. RIP.' Lane is survived by his two daughters.

Loverboy still rockin', and lovin' every minute of it

Rockers going strong with new single, tour that has grandparents, kids singing along

Lovin' Every Minute Of It

The leather pants, the headband and the hard rocking music. For Mike Reno and Loverboy, the signature style that propelled the Canadian band to the top of the charts at the dawn of MTV is making a comeback.

And the guys are lovin’ every minute of it.

"I'm happy and gratified with what we're doing now," Reno said, "We're still here, the fans are still here, now they're bringing their kids.

For me, it just couldn't get better."

Life is good for Loverboy. The group that sold 10 million albums with hits like “Turn Me Loose” and “Hot Girls in Love,” and whose smash “Working for the Weekend” helped make a "Saturday Night Live" sketch into a classic, is going strong these days with a brand new song and a tour that has grandparents and children singing along.

"We are surrounded by a whole new breed of youngsters," Reno said, "they know all the words. They got the headbands on, they got the T-shirts, it has to be the Internet."

Lead guitarist and founding member Paul Dean also believes the Web is generating new interest in Loverboy. "We still fit that mold," he said, "and there are a lot of tweens at the shows. I couldn't be happier.

And to be a part of it still, wow!"

The group recently released its new single “Heartbreaker” and is premiering the music video for the song exclusively on TODAY.com ( click here to watch it (on this page) ).

While the Loverboy sound has stayed the same over the years, Reno’s appearance has not. The front man struggled with weight and gained more than 50 pounds, and it was taking a toll on his health.

“My ankles were sore, my hips were bothering me, something is going to happen here,” he said.

Sensing that he was at a crossroads, Reno changed his lifestyle and starting eating better.

“It was a healthy diet, I lost 50 pounds and I have never felt better,” he said.

Loverboy can also laugh at itself. Whether as part of a running joke on "30 Rock" or as the soundtrack to Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze’s Chippendale’s try-out on 'SNL,' the band has become fodder for comedians. But that’s perfectly fine with them.

“They can make the biggest jokes because they are talking about it,” Dean said. “I’m the biggest fan of that. I get a charge of that.”

Reno recalled the moment he watched the Chippendales routine for the first time.

“I was sitting at the end of my bed, I was packing for the next morning and out comes this thing and I laughed so hard I rolled on the ground, he said. “To me that was the biggest compliment.”

Reno and Dean might have the last laugh. They said the royalties for “Working for the Weekend” continue to stream in. “We go to the mailbox, it’s still a good part of our lives, opening those checks,” Reno said. “I think we get a nickel every time it’s played,” Dean added with a chuckle.

Loverboy is embracing its past while setting its sights on a future that Reno hopes will bring them more music, fans and fun.
“For me it just couldn’t be better,” Reno said.

Lollapalooza heads to Sao Paulo in 2012

Music fans listen to Lady D perform at the Lollapalooza

music festival in Grant Park 

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Lollapalooza, the giant rock festival celebrating its 20th anniversary with three days of music starting on Friday in Chicago, is set to expand to its second South American event next year in Sao Paulo.

"If we can rub elbows with the Brazilians, who knows what Lollapalooza will be like. They have a long, storied history of partying," said Perry Farrell, who founded the festival in 1991 as a farewell tour for his band, Jane's Addiction.

Farrell's band broke up after the first Lollapalooza, before reuniting at least three times, while the festival lived on as cross-country U.S. tour until being canceled in 1998.

Six years ago, it was reborn as a weekend-long concert at Grant Park in Chicago featuring hundreds of bands, and last year it expanded to Santiago, Chile.

The festival will be held next year March 31 to April 1 at O'Higgins Park in Santiago and then April 7-8 at the Jockey Club in Sao Paulo before the summertime concert moves back to the northern hemisphere August 3-5, 2012 in Chicago.

Ninety thousand fans are expected to attend each day of the festival this weekend in the Windy City, where Coldplay, Eminem and the Foo Fighters, the group fronted former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl, headline the event.

"Lollapalooza is a pilgrimage to music itself that these young people come to see groups that they might not have heard of, or that they've heard and are in love with," Farrell told Reuters from his office backstage at the park in Chicago.

LOLLAPALOOZA BARGAIN

Regular-priced three-day passes for the concert, which is sold out, cost $215 and Farrell said it was one of the biggest bangs for your buck, with 140 artists set to perform.

"Economically, the value per dollar, there's never been such a bargain," he said.

Jane's Addiction, which rose to stardom in Los Angeles with two classic alternative rock albums and enjoyed hits such as "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing," is not performing this weekend in Chicago.

Farrell, 52, will instead play on the so-called Kidzapalooza stage, along with his former bandmate Peter DiStefano of Porno for Pyros. He will also DJ at his namesake dance music tent, Perry's Stage.
Indeed, several of the artists Farrell cited as buzz bands for this year's event -- Girl Talk, Afrojack and deadmau5 -- all play fast-tempo dance music.

"I see dance music as the punk rock of our day, of this generation," Farrell said. "The energy in the room is as fierce and compelling as any punk rock show that I've been to."

Farrell said he has no interest in returning Lollapalooza to its roots as a touring festival that stops at amphitheaters across the United States. He is committed to hosting the event in Chicago until 2018.

"The festival cannot be in screwed-in, fixed-in seats -- that's not a festival," he said. "The idea of playing in an amphitheater will not fly."

Iron Maiden’s Giant Zombie Glares as Fans Cheer Heavy-Metal Uproar: Review

Iron Maiden’s twin electric guitars scream out hyperactive solos, the bass and drums machine-gun thunder, the operatic alley-cat vocals reach a crescendo.

Iron Maiden, the veteran U.K. heavy-metal band,

is ending a worldwide tour in its home city at the

O2 arena.

The eyes of Eddie -- a giant statue of a zombie -- literally light up in demonic red as the chorus is bellowed out.

The East London heavy-metal band is coming to the end of its world tour, playing its home territory at the O2 Arena.

You might ask, why would anyone listen to Iron Maiden in 2011? It’s 30 years since Maiden’s heyday, when teenage boys started wearing its T-shirts with pride.

In 2011, Maiden is bigger business than ever. “The Final Frontier,” its 15th studio album, reached No. 1 in more than 20 countries. The group has sold more than 85 million records. It has performed in India, Indonesia and Peru as well as the more usual U.S., Europe and Australia tour staples.

Iron Maiden led the New Wave of British heavy metal as rock became harder, louder and faster. The influence of the blues was stripped away. Maiden’s easy choruses provided a perfect refuge for young males bewildered by the onslaught of hormones. The lyrics delved into fantasy and horror. A dress code involving shirts picturing the grotesque, grinning zombie sealed the deal.

Resolutely untechnological and lacking any of the usual audiovisual trickery, the Maiden show relies on old-fashioned musicianship. Vocalist Bruce Dickinson belts out favorites such as “The Trooper” and “The Number of the Beast,” each with a different painted backdrop.

Cooler Rivals

Maiden was never cool, unlike the raw Motorhead or the brutal Venom. It was never as aggressive as thrash metal bands, Metallica and Slayer. Current rival Mastodon has more complex riffing, Ghost offers more bombastic choruses, Slipknot better grisly slapstick and Lamb of God delivers more pummeling rage.

Still, much contemporary metal is for specialist fans. Iron Maiden’s appeal is broader.

In the crowd, men with faded tattoos and blue denim play imaginary guitars. There are girlfriends and even whole families happily screaming along and wearing their Eddie shirts.

Walk around almost any city for a day and you are sure to see at least one person wearing a Maiden shirt. Lady Gaga is a fan. There’s more to Maiden than teenage boys.

Pearl Jam's anti-Bush lyrics cut

Lyrics sung by Pearl Jam criticising President George W Bush should not have been censored during a webcast, telecoms company AT&T has acknowledged.

Pearl Jam have now put the unedited song on

their own website

The firm broadcast the performance from Chicago's Lollapalooza festival.
 
Two lines from Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall were included as part of Pearl Jam's song Daughter and both were cut.
 
These included the line "George Bush, leave this world alone". AT&T described the decision as "a major mistake".

"We regret that this happened and we're upset," said spokesman Michael Coe.
 
"Those lyrics in no way, shape or form, are something that should have been edited."
 
He promised to address the issue with the company it had contracted to oversee the webcast, which went out last Sunday.
 

AT&T's actions strike at the heart of the public's concerns over the power that corporations have when it comes to determining what the public sees and hears through communications media Pearl Jam statement

And he said that AT&T would seek permission from the group to put the unedited version of the track on its website.
 
A statement on Pearl Jam's own site described the situation as "a wake-up call", and said this was "about something much bigger than the censorship of a rock band".
 
"AT&T's actions strike at the heart of the public's concerns over the power that corporations have when it comes to determining what the public sees and hears through communications media."
 
The Seattle-based grunge group, led by Eddie Vedder, shot to fame with the release of their 1991 album Ten, which spawned hits such as Alive.
 
They have since sold tens of millions of albums around the world.

Flaming Lips Frontman Wayne Coyne Marries Couple

The Flaming Lips closed Montreal’s Osheaga Festival with a bit of wedded bliss. Following a complete performance of the band’s 1999 album, The Soft Bulletin, lead singer Wayne Coyne beckoned two fans to the front of the stage, according to Spinner.

Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne marries couple live on stage in Canada

A woman dressed as Dorothy (from The Wizard of Oz) and a man dressed as a lion met Coyne, as the rest of the band played a muzak-esque version of “Do You Realize??” Coyne established the bonds of marriage with grandeur: “By the power of the Flaming Lips, the universe and LSD, I now pronounce you man and wife!” The Lips then performed the real version of “Do You Realize??” before a crowd of thousands.

After the show, the couple were married by an actual minister.

Kings of Leon cancel US tour amid 'problems'



Caleb Followill (centre) said he could not sing because of exhaustion and heat

Kings of Leon have cancelled their US tour amid reports of problems within the band.

The cancellation comes three days after frontman Caleb Followill left the stage during a show in Dallas, Texas.

He said he was no longer able to sing because of "heat exhaustion and dehydration".

But his brother, bassist Jared Followill, said in a tweet that the band has "internal sicknesses & problems" that go beyond dehydration.

"I can't lie," he wrote. "There are problems in our band bigger than not drinking enough Gatorade."

Drummer Nathan Followill, their cousin in the Grammy Award-winning band, added in a separate Twitter message: "Not so good morning 4 me today. Ashamed & embarrassed by last night's fiasco."

The cancellation of the US tour was announced in a statement by the Nashville-based band on Monday.

It said the band members were "devastated, but in order to give their fans the shows they deserve, they need to take this break".

The band are to return to the road in Vancouver, Canada, on 28 September. The cancelled shows will not be rescheduled.

"Thanks to all our true fans for understanding and helping us through this hard time," Caleb Followill said on Twitter.

Kings of Leon, who are all family members and originally from Tennessee, have had huge global success with their singles including Use Somebody and Sex on Fire.

They have released five studio albums, the fourth of which - Only by the Night - was platinum selling.

In 2008 they received two Brit Awards and also won the Grammy Award for best song in 2009 and 2010.

Dan Peek, Founding Member of Band America, Dead at 60

ST. LOUIS — Dan Peek, a founding member of the popular 1970s band America and singer of high harmonies on hits that included "A Horse With No Name" and "Ventura Highway," has died, his father said Tuesday. He was 60.

The rock group "America" is shown in this photo dated 1976.

Members of the group, shown from left are: Dewey Bunnel,

Dan Peek, and Gerry Beckley. Peek, a founding member of the

popular 1970s band America and singer of high harmonies on

hits that included "A Horse With No Name" and "Ventura

Highway," died Sunday in bed in his home in Farmington,

Mo., his father said Tuesday, July 26, 2011. (AP)

Peek's wife, Catherine, found him dead Sunday in bed in his home in Farmington, Mo., about 60 miles southwest of St. Louis, Milton Peek said. The cause of death was not known, and an autopsy was planned. Dan Peek suffered from arthritis, but it wasn't known if that was a contributing factor.

Peek, whose father was in the U.S. Air Force, had met the two other members of America – Dewey Bunnell and Gerry Beckley – while attending high school in London. After signing a record contract, America was an almost instant sensation with songs featuring tight harmonies over catchy tunes. All told, America had three platinum and three gold albums, along with eight Top 40 hits, from 1971 through 1975.

"It was a joyous time for the three of us, full of excitement and laughter," Bunnell wrote on the band's website after learning of Peek's death. "We created lasting music together and experienced a life that we could never have imagined."

The group's first album in 1971 included the No. 1 hit "Horse With No Name." Other hits followed: "Tin Man," "Sister Golden Hair," and "Daisy Jane," among them. Peek played lead guitar on many of the songs, and wrote some of them, including the 1974 hit "Lonely People."

"Dan & his music will live on in the great songs he shared with us all," Beckley wrote on the group's website.
Peek had lived in Farmington since 1978, soon after he left the band. He also had a home in the Cayman Islands.

Peek was born Nov. 1, 1950, in Panama City, Fla. His father was in the Air Force and the family frequently moved. He met Bunnell and Beckley in the late 1960s.

"The three of them were Air Force brats," Milton Peek said.

Queensryche brings progressive metal to Crocodile Rock in Allentown



Geoff Tate, known for his four-octave voice range,

performs Aug. 2 in Allentown as the frontman for

Queensryche.



Classic progressive metal rock band Queensryche released their 12th studio album entitled "Dedicated to Chaos" on June 28.

They'll make a stop Aug. 2 at Crocodile Rock, 812 Hamilton St. in Allentown as part of their 30th Anniversary Tour.  Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $18 in advance or $20 at the door.

Formed in 1981, the band is made up of original members guitarist Michael Wilton, drummer Scott Rockenfield, lead singer Geoff Tate and bassist Eddie Jackson. Guitarist Parker Lundgren joined the band in 2009 to replace Mike Stone.

The foundation for Queensryche was first laid when Wilton and Rockenfield performed as Cross+Fire and covered songs by Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. When Tate joined, they changed their name to The Mob and later to Queensryche at their record label's suggestion.

The band has gone through lineup tweaks and has experimented with more stripped-down sounds over the last 30 years, but is best known for their hits "Silent Lucidity" and "Jet City Woman" off their 1990 album "Empire."

Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant Monmouth local hall concert



Robert Plant performing at the fundraising gig in Monmouth which was a tribute to his old friend
and former co-producer, Pat Moran

He may be used to selling out huge arenas, but Robert Plant thought nothing of performing in front of 200 at a surprise gig in a community hall.

The former Led Zeppelin frontman joined two bands at a charity show in Monmouth to a crowd of invited guests.

The event was a tribute to his friend, Pat Moran, a former Plant co-producer, who died of a rare dementia in January.

Lifelong fan Darren Martin, 45, said: "It was amazing - he's a rock god and he was playing in a village hall."

“It was a real honour to be there and he chatted with the audience afterwards”

Plant, 63, delighted the small crowd at the Bridges Community Centre in the Monmouthshire town with songs from his Led Zeppelin days as well as tunes from his solo career, including the hit Big Log.

His appearance on Saturday 9 July, and his decision to play Led Zeppelin tunes, was all the more special as Plant has refused to reform with his old band, despite playing a one-off show at the 02 Arena in 2007.

Mr Martin added: "It was a real honour to be there and he chatted with the audience afterwards."
Mr Moran, 63, who worked as an engineer on Plant's first solo album, and engineered and co-produced his second at the nearby Rockfield studios in Monmouthshire, died of Pick's Disease in January and the event was a fundraiser in his memory.


Scratch band

Organiser, Mr Moran's brother Brian said: "It was very kind of Mr Plant to join in - Pat would have been very proud.

"Mr Plant was even kind enough to sign a T-shirt which will be auctioned on eBay this week."
The event has so far raised £1,500 for the Pick's Disease Support Group, with more expected from the eBay sale.

Also performing were two bands - Welsh band Hobo - and a scratch band made up of musicians associated with Mr Moran and Rockfield Studios, who played under the name of the Rockfield Allstars.

They included Verden Allen, (ex-Mott the Hoople), Dave Edmunds, (Rockpile), Ray Martinez (Spring, Gypsy), Martin Chambers (The Pretenders), Neville Farmer (BBC producer), Paul Martinez (various bands), Dave Charles (producer and various bands).

Hard Rock Cafe maintains the rock 'n' roll fantasy after 40 years

When the first Hard Rock Cafe opened in London 40 years ago this summer, guests were watched closely as they came through the door, mainly because those guests might have been rock royals Eric Clapton or Pete Townshend, both of whom dined regularly at the place-to-be.

These days, guests at the 150 Hard Rock Cafes in 53 countries are still watched closely as they stroll in — but now for entirely different reasons.

Joey Mazzant is one of the watchers. They call him "vibe host," sometimes "vibe ambassador," and it's his job at the Orlando Hard Rock Cafe to make sure diners — now more likely to be from Palatka than the Who — get an "authentic experience."

"If someone's wearing a Rolling Stones shirt, I'll ask them, 'Hey, do you like the Rolling Stones?' Then, boom, I'll make sure Sympathy for the Devil plays on our sound system."

Certainly, lunch is always improved by a melodic visit from Mick and Keef. And Mazzant, a smooth-pated, tattooed guy who looks like Chris Daughtry's hunkier brother, is a genuine fan of music fans. He loves us. He really does.

But the very nature of rock 'n' roll is dangerous, rebellious, unpredictable. It's also unfailingly hip. And none of those words — not to mention "authentic" — can be used to describe the current incarnation of the cafe.

Clapton and Townshend don't eat there anymore. But 40 years later, the rest of us sure do.

• • •

Launched by American businessmen Isaac Tigrett and Peter Morton, the Hard Rock Cafe wasn't the world's first chain of escapist theme restaurants. That distinction goes to Trader Vic's, which in the '50s started selling sultry Polynesian daydreams to landlocked stiffs hunched over scorpion bowls. The walls were adorned with all manner of tiki wanderlust, much as the Hard Rock Cafes now feature musical memorabilia, more than 73,000 pieces at last count.

The number of Trader Vic's locations started to shrivel up when the tiki craze did (although the chain has since had a bit of a renaissance). The Hard Rock Cafe, however, is still getting bigger. A lot bigger. What it lost in rock star clientele it gained in celebrity-obsessed mortals. Tapping into our legitimate fears that most of us are boring was a flawless business strategy.

The restaurant's original model didn't involve "memo," as artifacts are called there. But as the legend goes, one day Clapton rolled into the London establishment and found his favorite booth taken. Not pleased at all — he was a rock star, and rock stars get their way — Clapton told Tigrett to put up a plaque, Clapton's Table, or something like that. The restaurateur had a different idea. He got Clapton to donate a red Fender Lead II guitar, and up it went, forever marking the star's territory.

A few days later, another guitar showed up in the mail. There was a note attached: "Mine's as good as his!"

Signed: Pete Townshend.

It's fair to say that without the donations of Clapton and Townshend — which spawned a truly awesome collection of rock memo to rival that of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland — millions of people in the '70s and '80s wouldn't have worn those Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts. You remember the gold circle, the cool font, the exotic locale: Bangkok, Barcelona, Beijing. "Love All, Serve All," "Save the Planet" go the slogans. Those shirts — you had one, you know you did — helped the Hard Rock sell the illusion of inclusion; it commodified cool.
Look at me: I ate a $15 burger next to Mick Jagger's trousers.

• • •

But much like an indie band that goes "major label," losing trendy points in the transaction, the Hard Rock Cafe, which started its global takeover in 1982, took a hit to its hip quotient in the late '80s and early '90s. That's what happens when everyone, even the losers, start wearing your shirts.

The restaurant's raging popularity would also contribute to a midlife swoon, as the Hard Rock Cafe spawned numerous theme-restaurant competitors fighting for the same Average Joe dollar: Planet Hollywood, House of Blues, the Rainforest Cafe, the Motown Cafe, the Fashion Cafe, the NBA Cafe, the NASCAR Sports Grille, Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville and Quaker Steak and Lube, to name a few. Instead of being an original, it was now just another float in the faux parade.

"Staying cool as a brand is really, really important," says John Galloway, Hard Rock International's chief marketing officer. "But that's a tough thing. . . . We got lumped in with the pack."

But the Hard Rock survived, and eventually thrived once again, because it does a few crucial things well, things other theme joints often overlook. "It's a combination of the memorabilia that a lot of us feel and the core simple food that is good," says Tim Zagat, founder of the Zagat Restaurant Surveys, which have rated about 30 of the 150 Hard Rock Cafes around the world.

(They mostly rate "okay" in his guides, Zagat adds.)

"Most of the other theme restaurants didn't have much of a theme or they had lousy food. Rock 'n' roll has a huge audience; a lot of the other theme restaurants have a narrow interest level. At Planet Hollywood, they forgot that they were supposed to be a restaurant, too. Once you saw the movie memorabilia a few times, you never had a reason to go back and eat. But you could always have a good meal at a fair price and have an enjoyable time at Hard Rock."

Smart business sense kept the Average Joes coming. But in 1995, the hipsters returned as well. That's when Peter Morton opened the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, an $80 million gamble that turned out to be the perfect fit for the most inauthentic town in America — and a defibrillating boost to the brand. So much for catering to the Middle American masses: The Vegas Hard Rock sold sex, gambling and vice, and the people who poured in were beautiful and famous. A small concert venue, the Joint, lured bold-faced names who always made the news: Guns N' Roses, Paul McCartney, even the Rolling Stones. The stars had returned.

According to Jim Allen, chairman of Seminole Hard Rock Entertainment and CEO of Seminole Gaming, the brand's biggest challenge as it got older "was capitalization, putting money back into the business." That challenge was met in 2004, when the Seminole Tribe of Florida, which wanted to add a sexy spark to its lackluster gaming operations, licensed the Hard Rock name for two casinos. Two years later, the tribe acquired most Hard Rock entities. Price tag? $965 million. The first American Indian tribe to buy a major international company, the Seminoles now own all Hard Rock entities except the Vegas hotel. The tribe expanded in a major way, primarily internationally, from the Caribbean to eastern Europe, including a 1,790-room (plus 11 pools!) complex in the Dominican Republic. Said then-tribal council representative Max Osceola: "We're going to buy back Manhattan one hamburger at a time."

According to Zagat, Hard Rock is a rare phenomenon: "Very few things that have that kind of history, that kind of ownership change, have been successful. But the Hard Rock is one of those things."

Twenty more Hard Rock Cafes were opened after the Seminole purchase; the restaurants eventually juiced their menus from lackluster meals to smarter, if still familiar, fare, including regional delicacies. The memorabilia kept piling up, but archivists made sure that current artists were represented. Justin Bieber's skateboard next to Jimi Hendrix's guitar? Why not? To further titillate an oncoming generation raised on videos games, booths and waiting areas are plugged in with interactive gizmos. And after years of having no live music at the restaurants, last year there were more than 3,000 concerts at various Hard Rock venues.

Even the bad news has been good news. On Feb. 8, 2007, Playboy tragedy Anna Nicole Smith was found dead in Room 607 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Fla. The cause? "Combined drug intoxication." Her death was sad. But there was another message attached to her cautionary tale: The Hard Rock was now a place to be bad.

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There are more Hard Rock Cafes in Florida (six: Tampa, Orlando, Miami, Destin, Key West and Hollywood) than in any other state in the country. "I think it's 'cause Florida rocks!" says Galloway, who's always selling. That's a kind notion, but it's also because the Sunshine State is a tourist mecca, and the Hard Rock Cafe, which showed a 20 percent growth in profits last year, successfully feeds, and feeds on, people looking to take flight from reality. Galloway stresses his restaurant's desire to offer an "authentic experience," but that's actually the opposite of what his company does so well.

Much as Space Mountain promises a ride through the cosmos, the Hard Rock promises closer proximity to "backstage," where (we think) we'll encounter mayhem and groupies and randy adventures far beyond our suburban imaginations. It promises just a whiff of what it's like to be a rock god. You are that much closer to VIP heaven.

But here's the thing: You aren't. In the cafe, you can't be backstage because there often is no stage; it's a burger joint. In fact, even at the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando, most diners won't even see the coolest part of the restaurant. Guess what? You're still roped off from VIP.

If you see Joey Mazzant, ask him for the "tour." Depending on several factors — including how much of a rock nerd you are — the vibe host might oblige. But let it be known that there are incredible treasures at the Orlando location (the original art work for the Beatles' Revolver album, John Lennon's couch from the Dakota building) that you will never see.

And maybe that's appropriate. At the Hard Rock Cafe, you are always chasing the unattainable. You eat the food with faux-cool names. You check out the "memo" on the walls. You might even be singled out for your head-bangin' sartorial choice.

But to paraphrase the Stones, you will never get what you really want. In your endless pursuit of Jaggeresque cool, you won't even get what you need. You will, however, get a T-shirt. Rock on, dude.


Anthony Ian G. Etcobanez